The difference between taking things personally and knowing your professional worth.
If you're a young artist, photographer, musician, designer or anyone trying to make a living in a creative field, here's something I wish someone had explained to me earlier.
You're going to have to develop a thick skin.
People won't always like your work. Some won't understand it. Some will offer advice you didn't ask for, criticize things they couldn't do themselves, or pass on opportunities you thought you deserved. You'll put hours, sometimes weeks or months, into something that someone else might dismiss in thirty seconds.
That's part of the business.
Learn to separate criticism of your work from criticism of you as a person. They're not the same thing.
If a client doesn't like a photograph, find out why. If a producer thinks your arrangement needs work, listen. If an art director wants a different approach, consider it. You don't have to agree with every opinion, but you should be mature enough to hear it without treating it as a personal attack.
Your work isn't always going to be your best work. Sometimes you'll get it wrong. Sometimes someone with more experience will see something you haven't. Take advantage of that. There's no shame in learning, and there's certainly no shame in admitting you could have done something better.
But there's another side to this advice.
Don't confuse having a thick skin with allowing people to walk all over you.
As you gain experience, you'll learn that there's a difference between someone challenging your work and someone disrespecting you.
A client can question your rates. A creative director can disagree with your concept. A bandmate can challenge your arrangement. That's professional disagreement.
But belittling you, questioning your integrity without cause, taking credit for your work, making personal accusations or treating you as though your experience and contribution have no value? That's something else entirely.
You don't have to accept it to prove you're easy to work with.
And don't fall into the trap of thinking that standing up for yourself makes you difficult, emotional or overly sensitive. Sometimes the most professional thing you can do is calmly say, "That's not acceptable."
I've been around the creative business long enough to understand that you don't need applause every time you do something well. You don't need everyone to like you, agree with you or validate your decisions. You learn to pick your battles, recognize when you're wrong and walk away from opportunities that aren't worth the price of admission.
You also learn that your reputation is worth protecting.
Be humble enough to keep learning, confident enough to trust your abilities and experienced enough to know when someone has crossed a line.
Don't become so protective of your work that you can't accept criticism. But don't become so desperate for work, approval or acceptance that you sacrifice your self-respect.
You can be a team player without being a pushover. You can be open to criticism without accepting disrespect. And you can be humble without making yourself smaller to accommodate someone else's ego.
One last thing.
The creative business can be a wonderful place, but it isn't always a gentle one. Learn the craft, understand the business, honour your commitments, treat people well and deliver what you promise.
And when you've earned your place at the table, don't be afraid to sit there.
You don't have to remind everyone how good you are. Your work should speak for itself.
But you should never have to tolerate being treated as though you're worth less than the work you produce.
That's not being a sensitive artist. That's being a seasoned professional.